This sense of inner calm, of confidence, makes you more mentally flexible since you are not “on your guard” or having to “prove yourself” – you can be more relaxed and at ease in dealing with people and responding to the challenges before you.
Marti had both an MD in Psychiatry and also an MBA, working in a Clinical Practice as well as Consulting with CEOs and Senior teams. He taught me that the key to raising healthy children, helping individuals in therapy and also developing leadership effectiveness had to do with three core principles.
Knowing what to focus on, where to put your attention and how to observe are essential behaviors to develop if you wish to become more effective not only at work but in life overall.
The failure to close the feedback loop so that the communication can flow into meaningful directions and actions, leaves those asked for input out in the cold. The result of this leadership failure is either anxiety or cynicism leading to a decreased state of motivational readiness as well as less overall employee engagement.
To the extend there is fear around being shamed or blamed for undesired outcomes, we will create cultures in our organization and behavior in individuals of denial, finger-pointing to deflect the blame, defensiveness to corrective feedback, sweeping things under the carpet and a lot of CYA.
Tough-Love is the capacity to have the courageous, difficult conversations, to hold self and others to account, while doing it in a respectful, caring and engaging tone and manner.
In the long run, invitation is infinitely more powerful than coercion. If you want to become even more powerfully effective, then you need to learn to invite others to join with you.
Thinking about and practicing drawing the larger circle, the bigger framework helps you to become someone who creates winning solutions with others, increasing your influence, personal power and the willing engagement of others so that you can be even more of a wholehearted leader and power in this world.
Creating your life as if it really mattered is the essence of spell breaking because you take control of your mind instead of your mind controlling you.
Whenever we break a spell by shining the light of awareness and conscious attention on an old, outdated and sub-optimizing way of thinking, a spell, we create more effective ways of thinking, perceiving and of imagining our lives, families, work and way of being in this universe.